In case you don’t know who I’m talking about, U.S. Senator Craig has been all over the news of late. A conservative republican from Idaho, he wraps himself in the family values flag and votes against any bill that gives a scintilla of recognition to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. He was arrested in June at the Minneapolis airport for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer who was staking out a men’s room known for cruising.

On the one hand, I’m glad that Craig has been exposed for the hypocrite he is. There are too many in the GOP and the Radical Christian Right who bash us by day and troll for us at night.

But on the other hand, I think it is a sad commentary on my community and our culture that closeted men have to resort to picking each other up in public bathrooms to get some sexual relief. For many of us there is a certain “ewww” factor in all this. I, for one, am not a great fan of public bathrooms for use. But when nature calls, it’s much better than squatting in the woods and getting poison ivy.

It is sad for my community because our country still considers us second class citizens and coming out is still not easy—especially if you live in a rural area where there is very little community to call your own. Not having our rights and constantly being considered the “other” in our society, leads many repressed gays, folks like Larry Craig, right to the john to find a Jack.

In typical knee-jerk reaction, the family values types will blame gay men for luring otherwise upstanding men who have sex with men into doing just that. They’ll cite shows like Queer as Folk with its scenes of anonymous sex or web sites such as cruisingforsex.com which makes hooking up easy.

But that’s not what made Larry Craig do what he did. It’s not what makes any closeted man who has sex with men search out public bathrooms for a quickie and then go home to the wife and kids. For the record, many of these men who have sex with men refuse to identify as gay.

What makes this happen is our country’s refusal to grant us our rights, to recognize us as decent people contributing to our communities. When we want to emulate the straight world and get married, we’re demonized for undermining heterosexual marriage. When we engage in anonymous sex because, for some, that is the only outlet they have, we’re demonized as sexual perverts whose pleasure-seeking ways recruit children, destroy the family and lead the entire country down a hedonistic path.

What makes this happen is homophobia, plain and simple. If being an LGBT person were celebrated in this country the way heterosexuals are, many of us would be a lot healthier—in the way we think about ourselves, in our relationships and in our lives. Just think about the ten year old boy who knows he’s different but is afraid to tell anyone because all he hears at home and at school is how sick gays are. Think about the 15 year old girl who falls in love with her friend but keeps it hidden deep inside for fear of not being able to have a normal life.

The shame and humiliation that drives institutionalized homophobia is what caused Senator Craig to seek out a quick sexual encounter because he can’t deal with who he is. It’s the same for Rev. Ted Haggard, the Radical Christian Right poster boy, whose downfall came with secret trysts with a gay male hustler. It’s the same for former Florida Congressman Mark Foley whose inappropriate behavior with young men underscores how homophobia emotionally stunts its victims.

Many of us cheer when the holier-than-thou, like Craig or Haggard or Foley, fall so quickly from grace only to find themselves wandering

in a political wasteland where asking for forgiveness is a hollow attempt to save their reputations. Sorry guys, it only works for Republican men who have extracurricular sex with women. Remember Louisiana Republican Congressman David Vitter who had sex with a female prostitute? He hasn’t been cast aside. He asked for forgiveness and it was granted. The boys circled their wagons and protected one of their own.

However, when you are the “other,” the rules of homophobia take over. You’re on your own. No wagons, no supportive press conferences, just the desolation of homophobia—the way many of us live our lives everyday.